After an unplanned sabbatical, I’m writing again. Dig. A lot of things happened since I created new content. I’m not editing this one.
My mom died.
I quit my dream job.
I tried my hand at buying a business.
I partnered into a business with my best friend.
I tried my hand at recording a podcast twice a week.
Listen. I’ve been to a lot of different places mentally since the last time I created something new for this place. The weird thing was, the things I viewed as escapism kind of lost their appeal when I started analyzing them critically for the purposes of this website. Needing to get away from the sting of reality became an obsession and comics and movies weren’t exactly doing it. I went from eagerly consuming every comic book related media to almost actively avoiding it.
In September 2016, I lost my mother suddenly. I’m an adopted, only child. Her death hit me like a freight train. It wasn’t like I didn’t handle it well.
I didn’t handle it at all.
Luke Cage just dropped on Netflix and I dove right in. “Power Man and Iron Fist” was one of the first comics my mom gave me to read and it seemed fitting to watch Luke Cage to remove my mind from the shock of her death. In hindsight tho… it didn’t help. There are entire episodes I don’t remember because I was screaming into a pillow. This was not the best way to consume a show I’d been waiting for since I was 8.
My wife (I don’t know how she did it) was able to help me through my grief, attend to the grief my children were dealing with while dealing with her own feelings of loss, without flinching. She coordinated my mom’s funeral and gave me the courage to walk away from a dream job that was giving me panic attacks every morning for 4 months (it was right across the street from the hospital Mom died in). I can’t thank her enough for dealing with me for the last 3 years.
I’m pretty sure I’ve been depressed since my mom died. I still can’t spend too much time at her house without feeling emptiness. I’ve become a ghost when it comes to my extended family. I don’t know how long it will take to get comfortable around the people I grew up around. None of this feels the same without mom being there.
I’m saying all that to say this, it’s been damn hard to write witty, sarcastic, or honest content when I’m just now starting to feel like a whole person after 3 years feeling empty. I have a TON of drafts, but I wasn’t happy with how they writing themselves. This site is about discussing or poking fun at properties I love, and those drafts have a meanness to them I’m not proud of.
I really needed to get this one out so I can go back to consuming and creating the stuff I love.
I can get back to writing. Thanks for bearing with me y’all.