So…
Instead of a traditional movie review. I will just list the assorted thoughts I had while watching Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice (this is seriously one of the dumbest names I’ve ever heard). These aren’t exactly in order.
- Bruce’s parents die in this too? Did his Mom gets shot in the face? That was SAVAGE.
- How is he flying? Are the bats carrying him? Is this Bioshock Infinite? What?
- Wow…everyone in Metropolis drives a Dodge or a Jeep.
- So THIS is how Snyder is going to explain the end of Man of Steel.
- Lieutenant Dan??
- They killed Jimmy!?!?
- Superman is invading Africa and killing people now…the racial subtext….wow.
- So Batman is BRANDING people now?
- Clark is climbing to the tub fully clothed? The dirt on his shoes will make this interesting.
- Batman is breaking necks and shooting people? Is Steven Seagal playing Batman now?
- I really think they wasted the Lex Luthor character…he acts like The Riddler.
- Lex’s security sucks, they just let anybody wander through the house.
- PARADEMONS!!!
- Damn another dream sequence?!?!
- What.
- WHAT.
- WHAT!?!?!
- The Flash, Cyborg, Aquaman…man this feels forced. They are determined to write Cyborg out the Teen Titans history.
- Did Lex piss in that jar?
- Wow…they killed Mercy too.
- This Batman really likes his guns. I’m not feeling this trigger happy Batman.
- I really like this version of Alfred. He actually does stuff. This is a departure from the Alfred who just lectures and whines.
- Lois stays getting captured.
- Damn. The only reason Clark’s mom is in this movie is so that she can get captured.
- Krrrrrryptonite!
- I really need Lex to turn it down a bit.
- Lois gets dropped off a building in EVERY interpretation.
- Use your words. Say “Lex has my mom! Why are you trying to kill me? Are you serious right now?!?”
- Superman is getting drug. Batman is beating the hell out of him.
- OK…so Superman just decided that he wasn’t going to be hurt by Batman’s punches anymore? Why didn’t he do this at the beginning of the fight?
- Superman is about to get shanked up with Kryptonite….again?
- Martha is the safe word I guess.
- Look! DC brought in Abomination to fight Superman.
- Doomsday has explodio powers.
- How come in movies America’s solution to every problem is Nuking something or somebody?
- This Wonder Woman music goes hard.
- Lois needs to be saved again? Oh well at least Superman has the Spear of Plot Device.
- Superman stabs Doomsday, Doomsday stabs Superman. Is this almost over?
- Big funeral scene. Snyder is taking the worst parts of The Dark Knight Returns and The Death of Superman and throwing it all into one movie.
- I really hate Frank Miller’s version of Batman.
- The JLA movie will need a lot of help, this was not a strong start to their universe.
