Name: Norrin Radd, Silver Surfer
Powers: Imbued with the Power Cosmic
Type: Gorilla Glass Cannon
Excels at: Looking Great on Paper
Fails at: Nearly Everything Else
I know, I’ve already took a shot at the Silver Surfer in The Silver Surfer Problem but I feel that I didn’t give the Silver Surfer enough time on the Summer Jam Screen. The Silver Surfer has all the makings to dominate the Cosmic scene. He is empowered with enough power to destroy planets, strong enough to go toe to toe with the most powerful beings in the universe and is one of the dopest looking characters in comic book history. He can travel at any speed imaginable, fly through stars and emerge without a scratch and create worm holes through force of will. The Silver Surfer should be a BOSS—he just isn’t.
The Silver Surfer is such a frustrating character. He is so likeable. I really want to be seduced by how incredible he looks on paper. He just gets his ass kicked so much he is the Brooklyn Brawler of the Marvel Universe, the jobber to the stars. I am mentally incapable of taking this guy seriously. Every cosmic crossover event you can count on the Silver Surfer getting DRUG by the villain of the week or curbstomped by Thanos.
I’m serious. Google “Silver Surfer vs Thanos” and you will see a cornucopia of one sided fades. Thanos owns The Surfer so hard and so often, The Surfer should just tattoo Thanos’s name on his bottom lip.
How does this happen? I think it has to do with the fact that the Silver Surfer isn’t a warrior. He really can’t fight. Lesser powered but more aggressive beings punk him all the damn time. He’s the biggest kid on the block but he has no hands or heart and folds up like a used napkin once he gets hit in the mouth. The Surfer is awesome in his own books, as he should be. The moment he drifts into other books he becomes The Silver Surfer: Cosmically Powered Punching Bag.
It’s time for a training musical montage. The Silver Surfer needs to get his weight up. The Surfer pals around with Thor and Beta Ray Bill, Ben Grimm is out traveling with the Guardians of the Galaxy, its past time for the Silver Surfer to get some fighting lessons from some certified brawlers. The Silver Surfer needs to be a bad ass outside of his own books. There has to be a balance between the cosmically powered Space Hippy and being the detached, emotionless Herald of Galactus. Let him be the guy who emphatically ends the next Cosmic Event by brutally taking down the villain. The Surfer deserves better. Let him be better than an all powerful doormat.