Random Thoughts about Batman vs Superman

So…

Instead of a traditional movie review.  I will just list the assorted thoughts I had while watching Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice (this is seriously one of the dumbest names I’ve ever heard).  These aren’t exactly in order.

  1. Bruce’s parents die in this too?  Did his Mom gets shot in the face? That was SAVAGE.
  2. How is he flying?  Are the bats carrying him? Is this Bioshock Infinite?  What?
  3. Wow…everyone in Metropolis drives a Dodge or a Jeep.
  4. So THIS is how Snyder is going to explain the end of Man of Steel.
  5. Lieutenant Dan??
  6. They killed Jimmy!?!?
  7. Superman is invading Africa and killing people now…the racial subtext….wow.
  8. So Batman is BRANDING people now?
  9. Clark is climbing to the tub fully clothed?  The dirt on his shoes will make this interesting.
  10. Batman is breaking necks and shooting people?  Is Steven Seagal playing Batman now?
  11. I really think they wasted the Lex Luthor character…he acts like The Riddler.
  12. Lex’s security sucks, they just let anybody wander through the house.
  13. PARADEMONS!!!
  14. Damn another dream sequence?!?!
  15. What.
  16. WHAT.
  17. WHAT!?!?!
  18. The Flash, Cyborg, Aquaman…man this feels forced.   They are determined to write Cyborg out the Teen Titans history.
  19. Did Lex piss in that jar?
  20. Wow…they killed Mercy too.
  21. This Batman really likes his guns.  I’m not feeling this trigger happy Batman.
  22. I really like this version of Alfred.  He actually does stuff. This is a departure from the Alfred who just lectures and whines.
  23. Lois stays getting captured.
  24. Damn.  The only reason Clark’s mom is in this movie is so that she can get captured.
  25. Krrrrrryptonite!
  26. I really need Lex to turn it down a bit.
  27. Lois gets dropped off a building in EVERY interpretation.
  28. Use your words.   Say “Lex has my mom! Why are you trying to kill me? Are you serious right now?!?”
  29. Superman is getting drug.  Batman is beating the hell out of him.
  30. OK…so Superman just decided that he wasn’t going to be hurt by Batman’s punches anymore? Why didn’t he do this at the beginning of the fight?
  31. Superman is about to get shanked up with Kryptonite….again?
  32. Martha is the safe word I guess.
  33. Look! DC brought in Abomination to fight Superman.
  34.  Doomsday has explodio powers.
  35. How come in movies America’s solution to every problem is Nuking something or somebody?
  36. This Wonder Woman music goes hard.
  37. Lois needs to be saved again?   Oh well at least Superman has the Spear of Plot Device.
  38. Superman stabs Doomsday, Doomsday stabs Superman.  Is this almost over?
  39. Big funeral scene. Snyder is taking the worst parts of The Dark Knight Returns and The Death of Superman and throwing it all into one movie.
  40. I really hate Frank Miller’s version of Batman.
  41. The JLA movie will need a lot of help, this was not a strong start to their universe.

 

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